she

She should not work and have a family.

She should work and not have a family.

Don’t be greedy, don’t want both. You can’t have both.

Her heart is elsewhere, but she’s not there. The sun

is out there, but she’s not there.

The walls are white. The floors are white. It is cold.

She goes outside and is surprised by heat. Wrapped around

her — it’s been so long since she’s felt a warm embrace.

Can she stay there forever?

Don’t be greedy, go inside. You have work to do.

She wanted so much more for herself, but when she got it

She realized how little it mattered anymore.

 

She was so small in the world, in a world that believed

She was so big.

She had a heart so large once it loved, she knew

She would not stop.

She dreamed so high, she knew, when she slept,

She would never stop dreaming.

Until she wakes up.

She took a step forward and immediately felt herself falling

Before she had said she wouldn’t take that step until she was ready

But she couldn’t help herself —

That cursed foot. This cursed feeling.

She should have just stood on the shore and waited for the waves to come to her

She shouldn’t have ran into the waters; only to find a storm waiting for her.

She.

Oh, her.

She is still a little girl.

 

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